Day 40 / 102 - The Fall of Babylon - Part 2

Last week I posted that my children were working on an IEW assignment about King Belshazzar and the fall of Babylon.  There were a few elements of writing we were focusing on during the assignment.  One part of the assignment was to add dialogue.  Another part was to try to use other verbs than 'said'.  My son loved this assignment, and spent quite a bit of time writing and revising his paper.  I've posted it below.  He's eleven, and this is his third year in an IEW program.

A Tragic Change for Babylon

Belshazzar, son of the amazing, highly exalted King Nebuchadnezzar resided in his palace at Babylon.  Belshazzar gazed triumphantly in the direction of the towering ziggurat.  He affectionately peered in the direction of his mother’s Hanging Garden that his father constructed for her many years ago.  He confidently stared at the lustrous Ishtar Gate and beyond.  Babylon, this unique, extraordinary land belonged to him, and no one could rob him of it.

“I am invincible,” He said to himself.

On a hot, summer, desert day while Belshazzar was addressing his kingdom, his most loyal messenger, Abznar, came running through the crowd.  “The Persians,” he gasped.  “They are advancing!”
            Belshazzar laughed.  “Let them try to attack.  They stand no chance.”

“But Master,” Abznar exclaimed, “The Persians come armed to the teeth!”  The crowd wailed.

“The Persians, I repeat, have no chance,” Belshazzar confidentially snickered.  “Why, let’s have a feast to celebrate the falling of the Persian army!”

The crowd roared!

Abznar sighed, “As you wish, Master.”

The feast was magnificent.  Dancing and music filled the extraordinary banquet hall.  Belshazzar stood on the table, “Let us toast to the gods for our good fortune.”

During the feast, Belshazzar rushed to get more provisions from the cellar.  While digging through random crates, he suddenly turned around to notice a strange hand writing on the wall.  He stared questioningly.  As soon as the hand finished writing he screamed for Abznar.  “Fetch my wife!” Belshazzar ordered.

Abznar quickly returned with Belshazzar’s wife, Florma.  He explained to her about what he had witnessed.  She recommended the king ask Daniel, who was an Israelite with much wisdom, about the vision.

“Abznar,” Belshazzar ordered.  “Fetch Daniel!”  Abznar returned with Daniel.

Daniel examined the writing on the wall.  “King Belshazzar,” Daniel explained, “Unless you stop being so proud and arrogant and learn to praise the One True God, Babylon will fall.”

“Liar!” Belshazzar screamed.  “Liar!  You lie!  Why this beautiful, fascinating land will never fall to the Persians!”

“So be it,” Daniel sighed heavy-heartedly.  “I tried.”

Daniel left the cellar.  Belshazzar fumed.

After King Belshazzar calmed down, Abznar, Florma, and the King returned to the party.

“My Lord,” one guard gasped, “The Persian General, Lord Zenbar, wishes to speak with you.”

“Bah.  Why should those Persians think they own everything?  Well, tell their Great Lord Zenbar that!”

At that moment, a boulder slammed through the palace roof.

“AAAAATTTTTTAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!” Lord Zenbar ordered.

“I told you.  Daniel told you.  But, you never listened!” Abznar ranted.  “Next time, listen!”

Then the Persain General, Lord Zebnar beheaded Abznar.  War broke out. Chaos began.  Anyone who knew how to fight made an attempt at the armory.  However, they were cut off by the fashioned Persian army. 
       “HHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!” Belshazzar screamed.  Immediately, he was slain by Lord Zenbar.

“My husband,” Madam Florma wailed.  “Why you dirty, little…..” Zenbar then smashed the hilt of his sword on her head.  She crumpled unconsciously.

The Persians began taking the Babylonians into captivity.  Zebnar strutted through his brand new palace with his trusty advisor Cyrus, and his brothers Aloss and Darius.  “My Lord,” Cyrus mentioned.  “All is going well with the Babylonians.  Lady Florma is behaving insanely, so we imprisoned her in the basement.

“Fine.  Fine,” Zebnar chided.  “How about Belshazzar and Abznar?”

“I cut them to pieces and burned them,” Darius boasted.  “I did it myself.”

“Good, good,” Zebnar murmured.

Cyrus leaned over the rail at the exact spot Belshazzar stood admiring his kingdom days earlier.  “This all belongs to us now,” Cyrus happily sang.  “This is all ours.”

“I’ll get the wine to celebrate,” Darius jabbered, as he quickly exited.

“Perhaps we can send for the Jews and they can rebuild the temple that the Babylonians destroyed?” Aloss questioned.

                  “Babylon will change, now that we rule,” Zenbar remarked triumphantly.